Nothing is what it seems
by imamessofawriter
Summary: Todoroki and Midoriya kept their mental issue's a secret. After moving into the dorms, it gets harder for them to attend group therapy. Iida and Yaoyorozu are determined to find out what their two friends are hiding. AU – Quirkless! Izuku. Tododeku week 2018 – Day 2. Theme: Insecurities Quote: "It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." ― Lewis Car


**Summary:** Todoroki and Midoriya kept their mental issue's a secret. After moving into the dorms, it gets harder for them to attend group therapy. Iida and Yaoyorozu are determined to find out what their two friends are hiding. AU – Quirkless! Izuku. Tododeku week 2018 – Day 2.

 **Theme:** Insecurities

 **Quote** : "It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." ― Lewis Carroll

 **Warnings:** AU – quirkless! Izuku. Implied self-harm/ suicide reference. Trigger warnings. Quite OOC because they are teens with issues. Contains OC as plot device.

* * *

 **Nothing is what it seems**

Todoroki Shōto was untouchable.

Midoriya Izuku isn't.

Todoroki Shōto had an aloof personality.

Midoriya Izuku was happy and cheerful.

Whatever Todoroki Shōto is then Midoriya Izuku was the opposite. So, when people would fawn over Todoroki Shōto, over how strong, cool and beautiful he is, Midoriya Izuku's self-esteem would go down. After all Todoroki Shōto has everything that Midoriya Izuku doesn't.

People start to question why they are friends, how could two people of different statuses become friends. Todoroki Shōto, the son of Endeavor and the current No.1 hero, and possessing a powerful quirk, was friends with Midoriya Izuku, a nobody, a quirkless general education's kid. That did not sit with people right.

People and society with their standards of what was acceptable and what wasn't, they judge people with the picture that they were given. They don't need any reason. They judge as if their word is the law.

"Seriously if Todoroki-sama continues being friend with that quirkless Deku then it will tarnish his reputation," a random girl spoke in the hallway, fully aware that Midoriya Izuku could hear her. After all, Bakugō made sure that everyone knew that Midoriya was quirkless and that his name could be read as Deku.

"But it could help with his image, he will be known as a kind hero who even befriends and helps the quirkless" her friend snickered, "but of all the quirkless people it had to be the most annoying and useless one."

Izuku tries to ignore them but its futile, the words are already etched into his mind, he is well aware of what people think of him and his relationship to Shōto, how two unlikely people became friends, how almost everyone disapproves of him.

He takes a deep breathe, just like the doctors told him and he walks to the school cafeteria where Shōto said he will be waiting for him. "Hey Shō-chan," the freckled boy greeted his best friend as he took a seat next to him, setting his lunch on the table.

"Izuku" the other greeted in his casual monotone voice, "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Well I was busy with classes and you have your hero studies" Izuku replied with a matter of fact tone, leaving no room for argument, "seriously, even us general department kids don't get any breaks, I don't think colleges assign these many projects."

"Yeah, well you'll be going to law school so better get used to it now" Shōto retorted, an obvious playfulness in his voice, one that only close friends could detect.

They chatted and joked with each other the entirety of their lunch break, with two of Shōto's friends, Iida Tenya and Yaoyorozu Momo and Izuku's friend Shinsō Hitoshi joining them halfway through.

Even though they were an odd group, Midoriya Izuku always stood out as a sore thumb, he could hear the whispers, how he wasn't any good, how he doesn't fit in, how UA shouldn't of have allowed him to enter.

Thankfully the bell rang and put a stop to all the noise and chatter. Izuku stood up and took a deep breath, concentrating on positive energy. "Hey, Shō-chan, I'm going to visit the administration after school today to get a leave slip so I can go to the gathering this weekend," Izuku spoke quietly, "I'll see you later then."

"A gathering?" Iida asked in confusion, having overheard them by accident. He didn't know much of his friend's private life but he was curious, specially with the recent villain attacks and the possibility of a traitor amongst them.

"Yeah its something we do with some old friends," Todoroki shrugged and took the lead from his friends to class. The teen, took in a mental note to ask for a permission slip to leave the dorms that Saturday for personal reasons.

After school once Todoroki slipped away, Iida pulled Yaoyorozu to the side under the guise of presidential matters, "As class president, I can't help but worry about Todoroki-kun, it seems like he was hiding something, I wanna check up on him."

"I don't think prying in our classmate's business is right but the way he said old friends did seem odd" Yaoyorozu interjected, "maybe if we talk to Aizawa-sensei."

.

"I'm afraid, I can't disclose that information," Aizawa stated as lazily as possible, though there was a glint in his eyes daring them to argue with him.

"But sensei it is a matter of a student's safety" Iida argued, "I know that we have no right to question Todoroki-kun or Midoriya-kun for the matter but when I inquired Todoroki he seemed like he didn't want anybody knowing about his plans and I don't want to suspect a fellow hero and classmate but I can't help but feel suspicious."

"Is this by chance about Midoriya being quirkless and from a different social class?" Aizawa raised an eyebrow.

"No" Iida exclaimed, "I have nothing against Midoriya-kun, he seems like a great guy, he is even studying law to help us hero's but–"

"But what Iida, I don't have time for this."

"The student's they don't like Midoriya-kun, and they say some mean stuff, and I'm worried they might insult him and in turn anger Todoroki-san" Yaoyorozu admits, "also I know for a fact that they went to different middle schools, so its most likely that Midoriya-san invited Todoroki-san as a safety measure."

"It's nice that you care about your friends, really" Aizawa began, sighing and looked at his class president and vice president. Seeing the fierce look in their eyes, he knew that no matter what he says, they will investigate the matter on their own, "it's easier if I show you but on the condition that you will not utter a word of what you see."

The two hero course students cheered and promised Aizawa their utmost secrecy and desecration, while they will continue observing their classmate until Saturday.

.

Come Saturday and as soon as Shōto left the dorms, Iida and Yaoyorozu joined Aizawa in his car, which they had no idea about, and drove ahead, not tailing Todoroki instead, going to where he is headed to before him. "This is also part of our hero training" Iida exclaimed, his hands moving on their own as they chopped the air around them.

An hour later, Aizawa stopped his car a block from the Mustafu General Hospital, and made his students walk towards said building. "Oh, are they visiting Todoroki's mom?" Yaoyorozu asked, looking down in embarrassment for doubting her friend.

"Not exactly" was all Aizawa said as he motioned for his students to follow him, discretely. Just around the corner, in a near empty street they could see Midoriya standing by a street light, his phone in his hand. But what drew their attention was that his usual smile wasn't there, he seemed tired and exhausted, more than his classmate Shinsō. He was also dressed in an All Might hoodie, even though the weather began cooling down, it was still mid-September and they were currently experience an odd heat wave, so nobody in their right mind would be in a hoodie at noon.

"Why is Midoriya wearing a hoodie in this heat?" Iida whispered, seemingly innocent and curious. While Yaoyorozu began theorizing reasons behind the choice of clothing.

"Izuku," they heard Todoroki shout, and looked in time to see the taller male wrap his arms around the shorter, a worried expression all over his face, "how bad is it?" he asked.

Izuku pulled away and looked at Shōto with sad eyes, the two heroes in training wondered what was it that garnered such expression. They watched closely as Izuku stood on his toes and placed a quick peck on Todoroki's lips, their mouths agape in shock. They didn't know that the two were in such a relationship, was that perhaps why they were in the hospital, where they not safe?

"I've been worse," the green haired man forced a laugh as he grabbed his friend & lover's wrist, dragging him to the hospital, "how 'bout you?"

"Like you said, been worse, sleeping less," the dual haired hero spoke as he let himself get led inside the hospital, the two were no longer holding hands, instead they walked closely to each other, their shoulders brushing, as they talked about miscellaneous things.

"Can I go with you to see your mother later?" Izuku asked out of the blue, a reserved smile on his face. Shōto looked at his friend for a few seconds before nodding and entering the mental illnesses and psychology ward. The two walked down the corridor in silence before turning a corner and entering what looked like a meeting room.

Iida and Yaoyorozu in their disguises sneaked a peek inside the room, to see twelve chairs were situated in a circle, there were some people in the room all who looked as awful or worse than Midoriya, most were wearing long sleeves, those who weren't had their wrists covered with bracelets and the like.

 **GROUP PSYCHOTHERAPY ROOM 1**

 **THERAPIST 1:** Dr. MIYASAKI AKAHITO

 **THERAPIST 2:** Dr. AKIMOTO KUMIKO

 **CAPACITY:** 10 PATIENTS

Yaoyorozu was in a state of shock, and Iida couldn't utter a word as they read the sign by the door. They looked at their teacher for answers but he nodded his head towards the exit, meaning that their little espionage game was over. Once in the car the two sat silently looking at their laps and fumbling with their fingers, "is there anything you want to say now?" Aizawa asked his students.

"Why?" Yaoyorozu asked her voice laced with concern and fear.

"A few years ago, probably a little over three, I was patrolling an area when I saw a kid around 12 or 13 years of age standing on the ledge of the roof of his middle school, I was about to call out to him and tell him to come down when he jumped of the roof" Aizawa explained, his tone pensive and solemn instead of its usual bored and lazy pitch, "I managed to catch him just before he hit the ground, he wasn't happy about it, then I saw his wrists were covered in scars, they were self-inflicted, that day I stopped Midoriya Izuku from committing suicide."

There was an audible gasp from both Yaoyorozu and Iida, the former covering her mouth in shock. "I stopped him from killing himself but I couldn't really save him, it wasn't that simple, so I talked to him all night, trying to put the idea out of his head, and in the morning I walked him back to his apartment, talked to his mother and then took him to a therapist that morning," Aizawa added, "I've been keeping tabs on him, and even suggested he go to U.A. since it's a very positive and cheerful school."

"But I guess that backfired since a lot of the students are a bit prejudiced against quirkless people" Iida commented, "but that doesn't explain Todoroki-kun"

"Yeah, I did visit Midoriya a couple of times at the hospital and I've seen Todoroki hanging around" Aizawa answered, "but when he was enrolled into UA, I looked at his information and he suffers from PTSD since he acquired the scar, Todoroki attends group every once in a while, unlike Midoriya who goes there on a weekly basis."

"So, they both met at therapy?" Yaoyorozu asked, "but one thing doesn't make sense, they are in a relationship?"

"Well, I kind of stumbled on that about a month ago by accident, told them to stay safe and checked on them, I didn't know Midoriya started to relapse into his old state."

"I guess we owe them both an apology" Iida stated, "once they come back I will apologize for doubting them and prying in their private lives."

.

At the mental ward of the Mustafu General Hospital, the group therapy session was underway, the third patient finished up and it was Midoriya Izuku's turn. "Take a deep breath and you may start when you are ready Izuku-kun" Dr. Akimoto Kumiko stated with a gentle and an encouraging smile.

Izuku nodded as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "so I haven't been feeling well for a while now" he began. His hands shaking in his lap as he looked down in what could seem like shame, "I haven't even been taking my pills lately, I thought I was in a good place for a while and that I don't need them."

"Izuku-kun, please once you go back home try to take the pills" Dr. Miyasaki Akahito interrupted, "I know that it may be hard to stomach them every day but try to take one every two or three days at least."

Izuku looked at his therapist and nodded, it was Dr. Miyasaki who first treated him three years ago when he was first admitted. Stayed with him until he was ready to go into the outside world and all thoughts of suicide had left his mind. "I did start retaking them immediately after I had a…. breakdown of sorts" Izuku continued, now all eyes were on him and some of his fellow colleagues congratulating him for taking a step forward.

"With the school being shifted to a boarding school system, I wasn't able to attend group therapy and then a while had passed and thought that I'm good, I'm really in a good place, sure there are some mean people but I was able to ignore them, I made a few friends, my teachers stop any bullying they see and Eraserhead checks up on me every now and then since he was the one, you know who stopped me from killing myself. I also got into a romantic relationship."

There were hollers and cheers from the other patients, some clapped, others scoffed. Todoroki looked at Midoriya with a soft smile but his eyes were glazed with worry. He hadn't been spending as much time as he wished with Izuku during the past month, which is what could've led to his downward spiral, and for that he blamed himself.

"A boyfriend to be precise," Izuku confessed, looking at all the other occupants of the room to see their reactions but it seemed like nobody cared, "we have been dating since last December but our relationship is a secret, we go to the same school but we are in different classes, before dating we were friends and through some luck both him and Eraserhead convinced me to attend UA.

"The students were nice to me the first few weeks, nobody knew I was quirkless, but then my childhood bully seemed to attend the same school, you know he was one of the reasons who drove me to what I failed to do, and then word spread around. My boyfriend stayed by my side a lot after that incident but here is the thing, he is perfect in the eyes of others while I'm useless, its odd for two completely opposites to be friends.

"They would call me names behind my back, or when I'm within earshot so they know I can hear what they say and understand the messages. But after the sports festival they quieted down for a bit, just until three weeks ago. They began their whispers and talking, I really felt like crap every day, the only time I would be remotely well was when I spent with my boyfriend and best friend.

"I kept telling myself to ignore them and think positive, I would go jog around campus when I feel myself getting lost within my own thoughts or do any other activity, then last weekend there were a couple of letters inside my locker, telling me to stay away from my boyfriend and that me being friends with him would tarnish his reputation, nobody knows that we are really dating.

"I never told him about the letters because they would inconvenience him, so I kept them to myself but my mind is a mess and I kept doubting myself. What if one day he doesn't like me, or want to hang out with me, maybe he wants to be with a girl, someone pretty and with long hair, beautiful skin, someone who isn't damaged or broken like me.

"And that's when things got bad, I couldn't sleep at night, I began hurting myself in places where people for sure won't see or suspect. I was just tired and anxious all the time, I could barely get out of bed if it weren't for my best friend banging my door. I would always smile and pretend to be happy so people won't ask or be up my business, it was going fine until Tuesday, I was in my room, a razor was in my hand, I don't even know how I got it, all I know is that I was recording a voice note when my mom called me and pulled me back to reality.

"I answered the phone and told my mom that I was tired and sleepy, after the call I threw the razor away and listened to the voice recording, but the person talking back to me wasn't me, that wasn't me, it wasn't" Izuku sobbed into his hands, "It was a FUCKING suicide note, I almost KILLED myself again."

"Hey now, Izuku, deep breaths" Dr. Miyasaki said, he had stood up from his seat and started rubbing circles around Izuku's back in order to calm him down. The entire room was silent in shock, not a single person knew how to respond to someone who just confessed to trying to commit suicide for the second time in his life just a few days ago. "We'll help you get over it Izuku, that's why we are here, it's to help you get better," added Dr. Miyasaki.

The green haired teen nodded as he stopped the tears and calmed down, and letting the circle continue, with the other patients sharing their feelings and how they try to improve, noting inputs from their therapists and peers. The last person up was Shōto, he seemed eerily quiet since Izuku had a breakdown almost an hour ago.

"Before I say anything, I need to make a confession," Shōto announced and looked Izuku dead in the eye, "the person Izuku is dating is me, and I have to apologize for being a shitty boyfriend for not noticing and for neglecting you."

"Shō–" Midoriya looked at Todoroki in shock as there were audible gasps heard in the room while there were some whispers about some bets and money to be paid.

"You don't understand Izuku, by neglecting you and failing to notice your suffering I just proved my mother right" Shōto began, his eyes clouded with pain as he covered his left eye and scar. "Ever since my mother poured boiling water on my left side, I feared that she is right, that maybe some part of me is like _him_ , like my father, our abuser, and some days I would look at the mirror and just see him. Sometimes it's hard for me to boil some water like a normal person because I have the urge to pour it over my left side, that's how much I hate him.

"And like I said a few times in the previous session, ever since the sports festival, he's been getting angrier and impatient, and he seems to be proud whenever I start using my fire now that I'm slowly embracing it. But the thing is ever since I started using it, I kept telling myself that its so I can improve and be a better person, I just kept failing and hurting other, I failed to protect my friends, and mostly I failed my boyfriend. Fuck I'm barely making friends in school and everyone else wants to punch me because I seem to be an asshole.

"Maybe I'm just like him but whenever I think about that I remember my mother, sure I reconciled with her and we are on good terms but the nightmares beg to differ, I've been waking up to a frozen room quite a lot now, whenever I look at myself in the mirror I just freeze up, all I see are either my father looming over me and angry or my mother's look when she poured that kettle on me.

"Somedays I just want all this fear to stop, I want to be better but it's useless, because I can't control my left side and I'm bound to hurt others, it's in my blood, after all, I'm the hand crusher, I'm cursed. I have an upcoming exam, a hero provisional license test, and I'm scared out of my mind that if I fail, he will be getting angrier than before, and I don't want to go home at winter break or any time for that matter.

"And every time my eyes hurt, maybe I'm being paranoid, but I always take it as a bad omen. What if I fail this test, what if I can't help people, what if I hurt them, I can't be a hero that helps others then, I can't think, I'm just scared about becoming someone like him, like someone who hurt my mother, I don't want to hurt people, I don't mean them harm but whatever I try its useless because in the end of the day I'm cursed and I end up hurting people."

Shōto was breathing heavily as he finished, each thought was said faster than the other, each word was laced with more fear and anxiety than the one before. The hero in training was covered in sweat caused by his own quirk, he looked down at his hands, they were cursed and they did not deserve to be loved, his mother made it clear, no it was the memory of who his mother used to be.

"Thank you for sharing Shōto," Dr. Akimoto Kumiko began, "but here is the thing, they say the past shapes the person who you are today, and I know that you've been stuck in it for a while now but young man, without your past you wouldn't be here."

"I know" he didn't mean to yell but he was frustrated, it was all pilling up and he was scared of making a misstep and hurting someone.

"There is a famous quote by English writer called Lewis Carroll, he said that 'It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then'," Dr. Akimoto said softly, "what I'm trying to say that who you are today is different from the person you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be a different person, someone who is more aware and a better person."

"Thank you," Shōto breathed and gave the female therapist a shy smile, "I want to know how I can improve myself with my classmates. I've been trying to get closer to them but all they ask are personal questions, and I'm scared of answering them or telling them the truth."

"If I may?" a girl raised her hand, she nineteen years old and had been attending this therapy session around the same time as Izuku did, "I was in the same boat for a while but then I took Akimoto-Sensei's advice and told my friends who were closest to me about my condition, they were more accepting than what I thought"

"I see" Dr. Akimoto nodded, "I recall telling Hiyori-chan to tell at least one of her friends so that someone knows how she is feeling, and how to take care of her in times of need. If you are planning to be part of a group of friends Shōto then I suggest you let someone you trust know about your condition."

"I guess I will try," Todoroki mumbled, thinking of who he could possible inform that make fun of him and is reliable. The session went on for another forty-five minutes, with the therapists discussing new strategies and with patients giving some type of advice to each other, as well as ideas to busy themselves in their dark times.

"I'll see you guys next week," Izuku stood up from his chair, seemingly much better than before the session, a load has gotten of his chest. He went with Dr. Miyasaki to his office to discuss his current condition, the doctor also informed Midoriya that aside from his mother and Shōto, there should be someone close to him that can help him with his depression, remind him to take his pills and help him with his triggers.

While Izuku was speaking to the doctor, Shōto stood by the reception with Hiyori, she was the only person in the room who had went through something similar to what he went through. She grew up with abusive and neglecting parents which caused her to develop a form of PTSD and anxiety along with an already present bipolar disorder.

"Once I told Yume-chan about what I went through, things started getting easier" Hiyori explained to Shōto, "she would try her best to avoid all my triggers and made sure that I would avoid them as well, it was awkward at first but then it started mellowing out, knew how to handle me during my episodes, how to calm me down when I'm stressed and all of that."

"I was thinking of telling the class president, he is one of my closest friends and is reliable," Shōto explained, "but he is a bit too, what's the word...extra, he is a bit too extra."

"Hey champ" Hiyori chuckled, "you do you, I'm not going to tell who to tell that decision is up to you but it's nice to have someone who knows what's going on, instead of having rumors made up, an ally of sorts."

"Rumors don't bother me as much as they bother Izuku" Shōto sighed and looked down at his feet, "sometimes I have no idea what people in a relationship do, I mean it took me two months since I decided that I like him to actually asking him out"

"Relationships are hard for us, we didn't have the best examples to look up to," Hiyori shrugged, "I mean, I'm nineteen and my longest relationship lasted four weeks, says a lot about me."

"I guess wish me luck then" Shōto smiled and waved goodbye to Hiyori as he saw the Izuku come back from Dr. Miyasaki's office. The girl waved back to them as they went to visit Todoroki's mother, she knew that both Shōto or Izuku won't face the same problems as her because they cared deeply for each other.

.

The next day, Shōto was surprised to hear a knock on his door, specially since it was both the class president and vice president. The three sat in the room awkwardly, each person thinking of a way to start a conversation, "So…" Shōto asked as he handed them a cup of green tea.

"I would like to apologize both to you and Midoriya-kun" Iida began with Yaoyorozu nodding in agreement, thus confusing Todoroki, "I may have doubted you and pried into your business"

"I don't understand," Shōto asked, some fear lingering at the back of his mind, fear that his friends won't see him as who he is.

"Last week at lunch when I asked you about a gathering this weekend your reaction seemed suspicious," Iida explained, "so I begged Aizawa to tell us where you are going. Yaoyorozu and myself may have trailed you yesterday and saw where you went."

At that Shōto went white, frozen in his place not sure how to react, to admit what he was doing or yell at them for suspecting him and not trusting him. "It's nothing to be ashamed of" Iida continued, "I may not know the exact circumstances of what you are going through but it's courageous of you to seek help from a professional."

"Todoroki-san, I also would like to apologize as well" Yaoyorozu began, "but as vice president, its my duty to look after my classmates and know that if you need anything we will be here for you and that your secret is safe with us."

'Well that was easy' Todoroki thought as he looked at his classmates, moved by their words and understanding. "Thank you" he replied, "I guess you also saw something else?"

"I knew you aren't interested in girls and thought you weren't interested in dating with being heroes in training" Yaoyorozu said, "but I didn't expect you a Midoriya to be together, it surprised me, oh on that note congratulations I guess."

"You don't have anything against it?"

"Seriously?" Iida asked, "it's your choice not ours, I'm happy as long as you both are happy and safe"

"Not you too Iida," Todoroki groaned, "it's already embarrassing enough that Aizawa-Sensei walked in on us while we were making out and gave us a long speech about being safe."

"If you want, we can cover for you so that Midoriya can visit you in your room without anyone suspecting anything" Yaoyorozu offered, and at Iida's scandalous expression she added, "don't worry Iida-san, they won't be breaking any rules, it's just two people in a room together, they can't do anything since the walls are a bit thin."

"About that, Midoriya getting inside this building is a bit…" Todoroki trailed off, "he and Bakugō aren't on good terms, I mean Bakugō used to be Midoriya's bully"

"So we have to make sure that Bakugō-kun and Midoriya-kun don't ever run into each other, especially in the hallways," Iida exclaimed, rubbing his chin in thought, "we also have to apologize to Midoriya-kun for intruding his privacy as well, can you organize a meet up with him Todoroki-kun?"

"Yes."

.

Shōto had explained the situation to Midoriya and was surprised when he said that it's fine and that it's bound to happen sooner or later. So here were the two boys in the courtyard that evening, with them were Iida, Yaoyorozu and Shinsō, sitting on a faraway table, face to face. Shōto squeezed Izuku's hand in encouragement, "so there are a few things I need to tell you," he began, "first since Iida and Yaoyorozu found out by accident, then Shinsō you deserve to hear it from me, Shō-chan and I have been dating since December."

"What am I supposed to say?" Shinsō asked with his casual and lazy attitude as if he knew about it, "I figured that there is something more going between you two, I mean you guys aren't exactly subtle."

"Pushing that aside," Midoriya coughed, "we actually met three years ago…"

"You can do it Izuku" Shōto comforted, rubbing soothing circles on Izuku's palm with his thumb, "remember deep breaths, okay."

Izuku nodded, a determined look on his face, "I met Shōto three years ago at a group therapy session, I was in there for attempted suicide."

"HUH?" Shinsō yelled, losing his cool, he couldn't believe what he just heard. In Shinsō's mind, Izuku was someone happy and cheerful, who always smiles no matter what, he could never be sad for a long time, so it came as a shock for him to hear those words.

"After I was diagnosed as quirkless my father left us," Izuku began, "my mother would try everything to make me happy but there are places she can't be with me. In preschool the kids would make up mean songs, elementary school wasn't any better, the other kids would push me along the hallway, down the stairs, and any chance they could get physical they went for it. And to top it off the ever cool and strong Kacchan was their leader, and middle school just took the cake, the teachers themselves encouraged the bullying."

"How reckless of them" Iida muttered, his hands fisted in anger, ready to lash out at anyone.

"Every day was hard, but some days were worse," Midoriya explained, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie to show scars on his wrists, "this was my coping mechanisms, until one day Kacchan indirectly and inexplicitly told me to kill myself, after that the idea was in my mind until _that_ day after school, a teacher, he…"

Izuku began to sob as he recalled that day which led up to the incident, the cruel word his teacher told, and the roof ledge, and an unlikely hero saving him. "He was the guidance counselor of our middle school back then and I was a troubled first year student, he told me to just give up because no matter what I will still be bullied and that the world would still function without me," Izuku took a deep breath and let it out, "that was the final push, I was angry and miserable, I wanted him to see the echoes of those words but I had no fight in me, so after school that night I jumped from the roof of the school but Eraserhead caught me before I hit the ground."

"Thank god," Shinsō muttered, his hands visibly shaking at the story. He knew that some schools were unsympathetic and let bullies do as they please, but the school Midoriya attended was going overboard.

"He, Eraserhead talked me out of, stayed with me the entire night until I was ready to go home in the morning and explained the situation to my mother," Izuku added, "he took me to the hospital to seek treatment, he dealt with the counselor, I heard he was fired, helped me transfer middle schools and start fresh, he still keeps tabs on me but after the Kamino ward incident he was too busy and I would only run into him in the hallways, exchange hello's."

"I see, that's why he got angry when I questioned him about you" Iida thought aloud, "I was curious as to what type of gathering you and Todoroki-kun were going and he got all defensive."

"I usually go to therapy every Saturday unlike Shō-chan who goes every once in a while," Izuku clarified, "but after moving to the dorms, it got hard and then I stopped taking my meds, until last week I reverted to my old habits, and on Tuesday I didn't know what I was doing, I had hit an all-time low and I tried to take my own life again without realizing what I was doing"

"Hey Midoriya don't joke like that" Shinsō laughed awkwardly, "you were perfectly fine when we called it a night."

"Yeah I learned to smile through my pain," Izuku explained further, "I was recording a suicide not on my phone when my mother called, I lied to her, telling him I'm fine, I then played back the voice recording and I hated how I sounded, I immediately took my meds and threw the razor, and on Wednesday morning I booked an appointment for group and then to talk to my therapist."

"Listen to me Midoriya," Shinsō began, an uncharacteristic fire lit in his eye, "if anyone tells you something or tries something, tell me and I will use my quirk on them."

"No Shinsō," Izuku chuckled, "I mean having a pillar and support system is enough for me, this was what we have been advised to do, and I'm really thankful that you are accepting and ready to help. But it would be nice if you ask me every once in a while, how I'm feeling and if I want to vent."

"Not every day?"

"God no, that would be too much for me and I could snap," Izuku laughed, "now that it's harder for me to go to therapy, I'll most likely chew your ears off with my problems but if I get too much to handle you can stop me."

"I have a suggestion," Yaoyorozu interjected, a shy smile in her face, "whenever you can't go to therapy, why don't us five meet here or ask Aizawa-Sensei for a private room and you can vent, I will try my best to be your stand in therapist."

"Yaoyorozu," Todoroki began, a smile etched on his face, "I guess I also need to explain my situation if we will do this as well."

Todoroki proceeded to explain his reason for seeking therapy, how after his mother poured boiling water on him, he has developed some sort of PTSD. How he is constantly doubting himself, of nightmares that constantly plague him. He also briefly explained of living with his abusive father, never going in detail but just letting them now of his in-home situation. How some of the smallest things could make him tick, how he almost had a panic attack a week ago after breaking a plate by accident. He spoke of his self resentment, how he sometimes hates looking in the mirror, how he sometimes sees his father instead of himself.

Their friends were accepting and understanding, they asked what topics they should avoid, how to act if they see them down, and how often they should report to Aizawa about their friends' mental health's'. Shinsō asked Midoriya if its alright if they have sleep overs when the latter is going through some emotional turbulences, how often should he check the room for sharp objects if Midoriya unconsciously hid one. They also created a codeword for when Bakugō and Midoriya were in the same vicinity, and to make sure that Midoriya had one of the four by his side in the event that they ran into the explosive blonde.

As the sun began to set and the couple were left alone, they both agreed that their therapists were right, and that telling a friend was the right thing to do. "I'm sorry for not noticing" Shōto whispered, their foreheads touching, Midoriya sitting in Todoroki's lap as they sat in Shōto's room after sneaking in.

Midoriya smiled and gave Shōto a warm and loving kiss, "it's not your fault we barely had time to see each other this past month" Izuku shook his head and wrapped his arms around Shōto's torso, pushing him on his back.

"I love you."

"I know" Midoriya whispered, pressing his head against Todoroki's chest, listening to the hero's in training heartbeat.

"I can't imagine life without you."

"Me neither," Midoriya chuckled, a blush decorating his cheeks. "I never thought we would get to be like this" he added after a moment of silence.

"I guess Dr. Akimoto was right," Shōto began, "if you had told me yesterday that we would tell three people about our relationship and problems I would've laughed in your face because that isn't something we would do."

"And tomorrow we will be much better people because we have good friends watching our backs." Midoriya added, pressing his lips once more against Shōto's, smiling halfway through. It didn't take long for the two to start making out, only to be interrupted by Iida telling them curfew is almost up and it's time for Midoriya to go back.

They pretend not to hear him as they continue kissing for another minute before they open the door for him. They pretend that they can't see Iida's red and embarrassed face because of him interrupting them. They laugh silently as Midoriya sneaked out of class 1-A's dorms and into 1-C's, with Shinsō obviously clearing a path for Midoriya to sneak in and looking at him with a knowing smirk. They both slept in their own beds, happy and content with what they did today, both unaware that Aizawa has been watching them all day and he is going to have a long lecture for those five students.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is rather longer than what I had expected, I started working in this while I was visiting my grandparents and just starting to develop a headache. I honestly had no idea where it was going, I was writing this till 4am and I said I will finish the rest the next day. The next day I began extending this fic and finished at 3am (why do idea's and Inspiration come to me at these times?). I wasn't planning on adding the apologies and confessions but I thought that if I don't address the fact that Iida and Yaoyorozu are aware of the situation then it would leave loose ends and possible plot holes.

Also, I need to point out that I'm not aware of how PTSD or depression or group therapy work accurately since my sources were google and TV shows / movies / books. So if I did mention something incorrectly the please do correct me.


End file.
